Happy days,
This is Volume 60 of the Digesta, which means I share two things in common with James Harden: we’ve both reached a 60-count in our fields of choice, and we’re both packing some extra holiday lbs.
That’s right. 60 bangers. A 60-piece. Thanks to those of you who have been here for some or all of the journey. And if you’re looking to saddle up for the next 60, you’re in luck. Smash that subscribe:
With that said, changes might be coming to this little workspace soon. The title might change. The “thesis” might be tighter. Maybe the cadence and schedule get revised. Does any of it matter? Is time a flat circle? Stay tuned, and we’ll find out together.
Quick programming note before we get into the meat and potatoes: I’ll be in your inbox earlier than normal next week with my pop culture Year in Review edition. In that (lengthier than usual) newsletter, I’ll run through my favorite songs/albums/movies/books/TV shows, etc. of the year. If you have any suggestions for how to run it or want to throw some last minute content recommendations my way, feel free to slide into the DMs. Here’s last year’s edition, in case you want to take a trip down memory lane and/or roast my outdated picks.
Alright. Let’s ride.
We’re sticking with short, snappy takes on stuff this week. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Yellowstone is a bad TV show
After the epic run of The Queen’s Gambit and The Undoing concluded a couple weeks ago, the wifey and I were in the market for a new binge watch. We had no shortage of options - one thing I’ve learned this year is that despite having all the forced-indoor time in the world, we’ll never run out of TV shows to consume. But after assessing the choices available, we settled on one of the breakout cable hits of the last five years - Yellowstone.
Let’s start with the positives. The show is an absolute smash for the fairly random Paramount Network - industry reports show it routinely garners upwards of 5 million viewers per episode. And the show’s popularity makes sense. It’s shot in one of the most naturally beautiful parts of America in Montana - seriously, every scenic shot in the show is gorgeous. It’s got the star power - the legend Kevin Costner features in the show, and he’s got a great supporting actor in Cole Hauser backing him up. Costner and Hauser’s characters are also written well - they’re deep, they’re compelling, and they make viewers root for their success. And finally, the show’s got action, baby. Wealth, murder, backstabbing, political maneuvering, and sex? In the American West? Yeah, that plays alright.
But folks, I regret to inform you that Yellowstone is not a good show. It’s a souped-up soap opera. Take Days of our Lives, blend it with Succession, and set up shop in Montana and you’ve got a good approximation of what Yellowstone provides. The plot lines and story arcs are straight up ridiculous - one main character is involved in murders in three (!) straight episodes and gets off basically scot-free each time. While the Costner and Hauser characters are intriguing, secondary players such as Kelly Reilly’s Beth Dutton (not to pile on, but Reilly also played one of the worst TV characters of all time in True Detective season 2) are woefully underdeveloped. And man, the acting leaves something to be desired too. For instance, Wes Bentley’s performance as Jamie Dutton is straight up garbo. It’s just a fact.
Yellowstone is perfectly good as a mindless, beautifully shot binge watch. But for intelligently made, well-written television you might need to look elsewhere.
SNL has a Weekend Update Problem
I’ve watched every episode of Saturday Night Live this season, because what the hell else am I gonna do? I don’t have too many takes on SNL these days, because SNL in 2020 is what it has been for the last few years running: bad political sketches and impressions (enough with the Jim Carey-as-Biden bit), a couple surprising and hilarious hits, a few utter swings and misses, and a majority of perfectly decent sketches that cover the hot topics of the current day.
I do have one dollop of spice though - it’s time for a change in the Weekend Update ranks.
Weekend Update is a great SNL feature, but the duo of Colin Jost and Michael Che just do not do it for me. Look, I KNOW that Jost recently got married to Scarlett Johansson, but do they have to bring it up every week? And does being married to ScarJo make you funny? Jost’s schtick really just seems to be smiling furiously into the camera. He kinda just sits there and smiles a lot. And like, I’m all for a positive, upbeat, happy presence - particularly right now. But it’s not exactly entertaining or funny!
As for Che - does he have to laugh at ALL of his own jokes? Does he really find himself that hilarious? You’re supposed to be funny, dude! Keep a straight face for once.
I could be coming on a bit too critically here, and I’ll approach their upcoming performances with an open mind. But when we’re comparing Jost and Che to the dynamic personalities of years past like Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, or Seth Meyers……yeah, I feel like I’m in the clear on this one.
Do we need to celebrate special occasions with champagne?
The holidays are a time of year when people pop champagne every now and then, so let’s dive head-first into this take.
Champagne is the default option when celebrating a special occasion. When toasting something memorable - say an anniversary, or a promotion at work - champagne is the go-to move. Here’s a question, though: does it have to be?
I’m a champagne-hater. Champagne, to me, is wine but worse. It’s got bubbly fizziness when there’s no need for bubbly fizziness. It dehydrates me more rapidly than other booze, and it gives me headaches at a rude pace. I also just don’t enjoy the taste, unless I’m imbibing a particularly pricey bottle.
Let’s celebrate with some bourbon. Let’s celebrate with a standard bottle of red. Hell, let’s celebrate with some PBR’s. I’m an easy lad to please!
Coleslaw is the laziest side dish of all time
I’m sorry, but when you say that your entree menu item “comes with a side,” and the side turns out to be a lazily-heaped, depressing looking mound of congealed mayonnaise-laden carrot shavings branded as “coleslaw,” you’re a grifter and a liar.
Somebody needed to say it. Down with Big Slaw.
My take on Christmas/Holiday music
A couple of readers have asked for my take on Christmas/holiday music. Glad you asked, happy to oblige.
To get to the point, I’m not a big Christmas music guy. Here are four reasons why:
1) In second grade, I was forced to perform a rendition of “Jingle Bell Rock” in front of my entire class for a Christmas-themed talent show. I killed it (of course), but I think it left a pretty sizable scar.
2) I’m kind of a music snob, and I’d just rather listen to the newest Tiny Desk concert or Tame Impala B-sides than hear “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” for the hundredth time.
3) I went to Catholic school growing up. Every Christmas, my classmates and I would perform religious Christmas carols a cappella in front of parents and family. It was awful. And to repeat myself, I think it left a pretty sizable scar.
4) Michael Bublé stinks.
I know I’m a Grinch, and I apologize to be a hater. “Last Christmas” is a banger though.
Damn - I’m just now realizing that this whole edition was filled with things I don’t like. I’m in a good mood, I swear. I guess I just woke up feeling dangerous.
Joe’s Humble Little Music Corner
In lieu of my standard music write up, I’m gonna direct you to a Twitter thread I posted yesterday that more fully explains the new playlist idea. Hope you are enjoying the new songs format, and I’d love feedback on it. If you’re old school and have just stuck with the Digesta Tracks playlist, don’t you worry child - that tracklist is being updated as well.
Here, again, are the new playlist links. Check em out based on what you like to listen to, if you so desire:
If u like rap:
If u like pop:
If u like indie:
That’s all for today! Back in your inboxes with the year-end review post next week. Much love, and blessings up to everybody.
Joey