My dear readers,
Sometimes you gotta go back to actually move forward. This week, we’re going back to some old fashioned likes and dislikes. Lots to look forward to (by going back).
But before we do…..some words on Wheelchair Jimmy himself.
Go ahead and share the Digesta with a pal if you’re feelin’ generous.
Drake’s “Toosie Slide” is a Bad Song. It’s Not Good.
I decided against mincing words in the title of this piece. I’m no fan of Aubrey’s latest, and that’s what this piece is about. Let’s get into it.
Everything about this song seems rushed. The production on the track is lacking - Drake is supported by a sparse beat with pretty minimal added effects. You’ve heard many Drake songs like this one. Not much stands out about it. The lyrics? They tell a similar story. Name-dropping Michael Jackson in a song revolving around a dance might seem like a good idea, but it’s a significantly worse idea in 2020. And then there’s the dance. Can we all agree that the dance itself is half-assed, lazy, and flat? Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” this is not.
And that brings me to my next point about the song. In my view, the worst thing about it is how shamelessly it’s trying to become the next TikTok viral hit. It’s almost as if Drake and his team woke up one day, realized that TikTok viral dances were a thing, and decided to make a song for the platform. And you know what? I think that’s exactly what happened.
But the coolest thing about viral movements like TikTok dances is the spontaneity of them. Nobody saw Lil Nas X coming and the next thing you know, his song was inescapable. Nobody forced Soulja Boy to act disgusted on The Breakfast Club (“Draaaaaakee?!!!???”), he was just legitimately heated when Drake’s name was mentioned. Similarly, nobody ordered people to dance to “Savage” or Roddy Ricch’s “The Box”; they just started doing it.
When you see a trend taking place, realize it’s blowing up without your influence, and still flagrantly try to lead all of your fans to the same well and make them drink out of it - ESPECIALLY when you’re an artist of Drake’s stature? It’s corny. It’s super corny.
Toward the end of 2019, I read a “Decade in Culture” piece touting Drake’s influence from the New York Times’ pop music writer, Jon Caramanica. In the article, Caramanica says of Drake, “He made virality central to his art, and was the first pop star to truly weaponize its power in a non-gratuitous manner.”
Oh, Jonny Boy. If only you had waited a few months to write your Drake retrospective. Then you’d see, Jonny Boy, then you’d see!!
Despite the song’s obvious limitations, I’ve become resigned to the reality that we likely won’t be able to escape it for weeks. Spotify’s hip-hop tastemaking juggernaut Rap Caviar had “Toosie Slide” as its number 1 track for over a week. While it has recently fallen from the top spot, it remains prominently featured at #3. The radio is sure to be playing the song on repeat throughout the spring. As good friend and occasional writer Lawrence Neil wrote back in 2017, a new Drake release “is like the hip-hop equivalent of a new Game of Thrones season or Trump tweet — even if you’re not into it, it’s impossible to ignore.” We’re gonna hear the damn song.
And it shouldn’t be surprising that we’re going to hear this subpar track. Drake making music is great news for the music industry. He’s a top-5 (is he THE top) influence in the music world. When Drake does things, people listen, and Big Music reaps the benefits. Drake’s label is literally a Spotify investor, so it should be no surprise that all of his music is heavily promoted on the platform and other similar services.
And yet, as a music purist, don’t I have the right to be exasperated when a middling, lazy Drake track outshines some of the truly innovative stuff hitting the airwaves at this economically insecure time? Couldn’t some of the promotional effort for “Toosie” be thrown behind something like Headie One’s outstanding new project? Or can my girl CHIKA get some play on the radio?
For my money, a song like “Toosie Slide” is exactly why Drake can never be in the conversation for best rapper in the game. For Drake, it’s not always about the art. It’s not always about quality; it’s about quantity, because he knows that he can put anything out there and profit from it. And that’s not a totally bad thing! I love a lot of Drake songs. And of course, it’s absolutely his prerogative to do things his way. But the greatest? Nah.
But that’s just, like, my opinion, man……and Drake sure as hell isn’t sweating it in that weird overdone Toronto mansion of his.
Four Things Joe Likes This Week
1) The great haircut crisis of 2020
One small joy from this inarguably stressful period of time has been the hand-wringing from men everywhere over just *what* to do about their hair. Nothing quite gets a man stressing like a month+ without a trip to get that fade/cut/trim.
I’ve gotten multiple texts from friends asking whether I’ve gotten a hair cut or what I was planning to do about my hair. One planned to have his barber over to his apartment after they’d both self quarantined for 14 days. Another has taken to Instagram Live (a certified hot platform during this period of time) twice in the last two weeks to broadcast his roommate cutting his hair. Whole businesses are being created in these times to help men cut and/or fashion their hair. It’s the Wild Wild West for men’s grooming right now.
This whole situation must be pretty amusing for women to observe. Sure, the ladies out there are similarly stressed about not being able to maintain the same highlighting or coloring regimens that they held pre-lockdown. But still, it has to be funny to watch men collectively freak out about their hair presentation and grooming for the first time ever. Must be tough, right fellas?
One sobering part about this: the fact that barbers and hair stylists everywhere are undoubtedly on edge right now (shout-out to my #1 dude Leo, who has cut my hair beautifully for 4 years and is 100% not reading this). It’s brutal, and I hope that things are able to get back to normal as soon as this is all over. Or at least close to normal, because every hair stylist out there is going to have some serious rescue missions to embark on after this crisis.
How’s my hair doing? So glad you asked. I actually last got my hair cut on the day that I flew from SF to Australia, way back on January 6th. After making it through Australia with a reasonably-presentable look, I decided against getting my hair cut for the equivalent of $3 USD at a questionable Southeast Asian establishment. Little did I know that a global shutdown was just around the bend. So, as someone who typically favors a haircut every 5 weeks in normal times, ya boi is now going on (checks calendar) 3.5 full months without a cut. It’s getting downright unruly up in Your Pal Joe’s business right now. We’re scarily approaching mullet territory here.
2) Here’s a fun joke
Got a real kick out of this one. Tickled me right in the funny bone. Shout-out to my mom for sending it to me!
3) Old folks absolutely crushing it
In the midst of this scary medical emergency, most people’s highest level of concern rightly rests with the elderly. It’s an incredibly scary time for older folks, and people everywhere are worried about their aged loved ones’ health and safety.
Which makes it all the more impressive when those old folks ball out like it ain’t no thang.
In the last couple weeks alone, we’ve had so many inspiring stories of older people sticking it to the virus, such as:
And this fearless married couple who just want to get down:
This kind of stuff gives me life. Love it!
4). Sure Sure, making the best of a bad time
A Fair Warning: This section can be considered anything but unbiased. I love this band. They are near and dear to my heart. I find them so wholesome and silly and legitimately awesome - everything they do, I will see with rose-tinted glasses.
And yet, I think most impartial parties can agree that what the band Sure Sure is doing right now is really creative and awesome.
On the scary and crazy night of March 11th when shit started getting real, Tom Hanks tested positive, and the NBA indefinitely postponed its season, Sure Sure was in Tampa, FL, where they had just played the first show of their spring tour supporting COIN. The next day, they packed up their van and started to head home and get ready for life in quarantine. It had to have been a somber trip across the country, with a tour’s worth of show revenue lost.
On the bright side, the guys have been able to take advantage of some very fortuitous circumstances - they all live together in a house in Los Angeles. In the absence of a national tour, Sure Sure has planned the next best thing: a tour in their own house. The band has been playing shows in the different rooms in their house, with different sets for each night (and travel days baked in, of course). Here’s the poster they made for the tour:
It’s fun!
The shows sound surprisingly good. The band has been able to charge a small amount for tickets and recoup some of the lost tour money - while also donating to local food banks. They’ve even been able to generate some local press buzz, scoring a sweet write-up in the LA Times this week. And most importantly, you can tell that the guys are having fun with the bit - here’s a video of their drying machine “opening” for them in the Laundry Room.
I may be biased, but I hope you enjoyed this tale of a humble band making the most of strange circumstances. You can buy tickets to the last two shows of their tour here!
One Thing Joe Dislikes This Week
1) Companies/Brands doing a bit too much right now
It’s a weird time for everybody. It’s hard enough to decide whether to go outside on any particular day of the week. Corporations have the unenviable task of figuring out how to engage their customers and drum up business during an unprecedented global slowdown.
And yet……I do feel like some brands need to check themselves.
I don’t need Banana Republic advising me to wash my hands. I’m sheltering in place at home because it’s the right thing to do, not because you told me to do it, Ticketmaster. And why does it seem like Barry’s Bootcamp is hitting the advertising for their bougie-ass active wear harder than ever before? I wasn’t gonna spend $98 on a dry-fit T-shirt before the ‘Rona showed up and flipped the script, Barry’s; I sure as shit ain’t gonna do it now.
This week, I got an email from a hotel that I’ve never stayed at before. I have a reservation booked there for a wedding later this year, but it’s very much in question whether the show will go on. And yet……here they were in my inbox, encouraging me to expand my “healthy horizons” with some favorite juices and smoothies that the hotel offers.
“Time to load up on almond milk, pineapples, and kale, Becca! The Ace Palm Springs wants us to blend up the Green Goddess!!!”
One Shout-Out from Joe to a Pal
One more bit of good news before the song recs. I wanted to take a moment to shout-out and congratulate friend and Digesta reader Ellery and her husband Adam on their recent marriage in Santa Barbara. With an April wedding date, Ellery and Adam were in quite the bind with what to do when COVID hit the US in full force - definitely unable to carry on as planned but also so far along with preparation that a full postponement seemed like quite a downer. Instead of pushing things off, they decided “Screw it, let’s do this,” getting married with their officiant and broadcasting the proceedings to their friends and loved ones over Zoom. It looked like quite the joyous affair, and what a uniquely 2020 memory it will be. Congrats to the newlyweds! <333
Three Songs Recommendations from Your Pal Joe
1) Waxahatchee - Lilacs
I’m gonna be honest, this first spot was about to be yet another tribute to my girl Phoebe Bridgers, who put out yet another fantastic single last week. But you know what, Pheebs has gotten more than enough love in these parts already. Let’s spread the wealth around at the MezzaDigesta, shall we? Katie Crutchfield recently released her 5th album under the Waxahatchee moniker, and this one might just be her best yet. Here’s just one standout track from the record Saint Cloud.
2) Red Hearse - Everybody Wants You
When I sent this track to my dear friend and the biggest Jack Antonoff fan I know last week (hi Benjie), he replied with “Everything Jack Antonoff touches turns to gold.” Bold statement! I’m not so sure that I agree, as I found a lot of fun.’s output to be a bit cringeworthy (TONNNIIGHTTTTTT, WE ARE YOUNGGGGG). But I digress. I really like this track from Antonoff’s 2019 project, Red Hearse. Way to be, Jackie.
3) Jamie xx - Loud Places feat. Romy
Welcome back, Jamie! Following his 2015 masterpiece album, In Colour, Jamie has taken an extended break from the spotlight. Well, that’s not totally true, as he’s released tons of remixes, been featured on tracks, and put out another album with his group The xx. But still - we haven’t had a solo Jamie track in a while. And he’s officially back this week, with a frenetic new single titled “Idontknow.” For this week’s Jamie track, let me plug “Loud Places,” probably my favorite song off of In Colour.
That does it! Hope everybody has some fun indoor activities planned for this weekend.
Until next time,
Joey